Desperate times in the pants-fitting department

Since even the sweat pants are a little tight lately, I’ve got to start
listening to that bathing suit!

“COME ON! Jab, hook, pivot, KNEE!”

“AIR JACK! You can do it!!”

“FRONT KICK! BACK KICK. FRONT KICK. KNEE! Think about all that barbecue you’re going to eat this weekend!”

Lady, I’m thinking about how much I’d like to front kick you in the face right now…

Welcome to the world of oh-my-gawd-my-pants-still-don’t-fit-and-maybe-they-never-will-I-need-to-have-a-salad-STAT.

Call it the “Dissertation 15” or the unavoidable reality that one simply cannot eat Cadbury creme eggs and gelato and pasta at will without fleshy repercussions. Especially when said treats are coupled with long amounts of computer time and nowhere near enough gym sessions. Blergh.

Historically at this point, I would call my cute trainer dude and get whipped into shape with kettle bells and burpees and various fat-melting stupid human tricks. But alas, my dear genius trainer Jared moved to Texas and is not moving back any time soon.

In lieu of actual self-discipline, I thought about getting back into Bikram, but the time and financial commitment exceed my means. I looked at Cross Fit since it seems to be all the rage lately, but throwing tires and hefting weights as big as Corollas? Me thinks not.

So with swimsuit season kicking off this weekend, I’m back to 24-Hour Fitness and group classes hoping for a miracle. Today was “Turbo Kick.” Tomorrow, PIYO. After the holiday, I’ll get Body Pump and Zumba back into the mix. Surely that will work, right?

In the mean time, does anyone have any tried and true slim down secrets? (Cabbage diets, pills or starvation not withstanding.) Anyone else joining me in summer fitness desperation activities?


Other fitness posts that apparently I need to re-read:
– Applying “The Power of Habit”: Making exercise a “keystone habit”
– Feeling like a summer sausage
– Magical thinking doesn’t make my pants fit: Developing a fitness plan
– Braving Bikram: What I learned about hot yoga, day 1
– Dialogue of mad muscles
– Mad muscle redux
– Fitness class characters

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