Dear Stinky McStinkface at the [insert popular public place, e.g. gym, airplane, etc.],
My name is Shawna and I am writing to you first on behalf of all people with noses and second, on behalf of all people with allergies. I understand that you like your aftershave/bodywash/perfume/overly cloying spritz from Bath & Body Works. I get it. Spraying smell is fun! But do be aware that while you may be trying to attract the opposite sex, your taking a bath in said fragrance is causing innocent noses to cry and people to hate you on first smell. While you may think that your eau de toilette is intoxicating, I assure you, in the swimming pool sized quantity you use every day, it just inspires ire.
shawna aka the girl who gets a headache just by standing in a 10 foot radius of you (can you imagine what it’s like to sit on a plane next to you??)