From sugar-induced bliss to drudgery with a price gun: The continuum of wedding planning adventures

This may sound strange, but one of my favorite things to do with Mr. T is shop. We have a ball in the grocery store or puttering around Costco*. I don’t know what it is for sure (although there is usually chasing and dorking out), but I’ve always enjoyed our shopping excursions. Because of this, I thought for certain the registering process would be fun. What was I smoking?making-a-wedding-registry-scan-all-the-things

Friday morning
Me: I’d like to get our registries going over spring break.
T: Okay. [Grumpy face]
Me: Do you not want to do it?
T: Do you even know where you want to go? [Pained expression]
Me: Uhh, yes.
T: Do you even know what you want to get? [Quizzical look]
Me: Housewares? Random vases we’ll never use? The usual things people register for?
T: [Sideways glance.]
Me: Do you want me to do it by myself?
T: Noooo.
Me: Mmmkay.

So on Tuesday afternoon we agreed to start at the mall by T’s office. It was SO not fun! In addition to being completely overwhelmed by the ridiculous quantity of crap Macy’s and Martha suggest that people register for, I was astounded by the many, many choices to be made. China or “casual” dining ware? Calphalon or All-Clad? Square plates or round? Am I supposed to really care? On top of this, Mr. T was a grumpypants. Not looking forward to the activity in the first place, he was plucked straight from work and plopped into bridalpalooza without time to relax. While I did offer him coffee first and then a drink, his inclination seemed to be: Let’s get this over with already. And so we bumbled through two stores scanning** items in our wake.

After a completely unsatisfying experience where we only scanned an apparently scant 36 items, we debriefed over vegetable curry at home. I asked that next time something comes up that sounds just awful, for him to please say so. I’d much rather do some bits of wedding planning on my lonesome than submit him to first class department store torture!

And that got me thinking. It wasn’t just T’s disinterest that bothered me about the whole process, it was all the STUFF. And freaking EXPENSIVE stuff at that. Although a packrat by nature, I realize that we don’t need to accumulate*** things for things’ sake, despite what the wedding industry tells me. I also know that I don’t need $400-a-place dinnerware or crystal pieces worth more than my monthly paycheck. If only everything could be as fun as cake tasting!

I’m still unsettled about the whole thing, but as people keep asking me “Where are you registered?” I suppose I just need to suck it up, observe the custom and move on. As my friend Katie Jo just told me, soon I’ll be moving on from the planning phase and enjoying a honeymoon. Can’t wait!


P/S My advice for those attempting the registry process: 1. Be well-fed and watered before proceeding. 2. Wear comfortable shoes. 3. Peruse the store’s web site so you have an idea of what’s available. 4. Don’t feel pressured to do it all at once. Scan some things, sleep on it and build the rest online. 5. Don’t get lost in the sea of silverware and gravy boats and lose sight of what you really care about. T and I aren’t “china” people. While some friends would be aghast, at least we won’t cry when our pattern is discontinued!

* I would SO register at Costco if that were possible.
** I will admit, I did love that price gun. Beeeeeep!
*** Of course, the pragmatist in me knows that people will bring presents and it is better to give them an idea of what we’d like than to end up with four toasters and no place mats (heaven forbid!)

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